Why Does Everything Involve Peeing on a Stick?

So, Robert and I have made the decision to start a family. We actually made the decision early last summer, and had originally planned to start trying after our upcoming vacation to Disneyland. Well, things being what they are and plans changing, we decided to go ahead and start trying after Christmas.

I had a lot of concerns. My age, his age, my weight, having been on birth control for well over a decade. And, well, if you believe what you read, it would seem that given all those factors we may be engaging in what could very well be an uphill battle. And it seems that putting it off was simply not in our best interests.

As such, bought an ovulation detection kit and started peeing on my first set of sticks. We read the instructions carefully to make sure that we did everything properly and simply waited for the smiley face to appear (I am not fucking shitting you, you get a giant smiley face when you are ovulating….). I was convinced that between my age and the birth control, I would pee on a million sticks and never see the damn smile. As it turns out, a million sticks was really six.

Despite the fact that I spent forty bucks on the damn smiley face sticks, we still planned to follow the doctor’s instructions of having sex (seriously, why does everything say “make love with your partner”? I mean, let’s be real, sometimes sex is simply sex) three to four times a week. So we were already partaking in the “attempts” before the smile appeared – but we made sure to follow the instructions on the stick as well.

However, it seems fate was not on our side this time. Robert got quite ill on January first, and I was in a nasty car crash in January second. Let me tell you, there is nothing like drooling snot and a concussion that makes me want to “make love with my partner”. So we fell short of the doctor’s orders, despite following the instructions from the stick.

Well, as it turns out, come Saturday I started my period – five days earlier than I was expecting it, but there is was nonetheless. I was a bit sad. I mean, I knew it was unreasonable to expect to be successful our first try – but so many people around me had done just that, that I guess I had set my hopes and expectations too high. I went ahead and took a test when it finished, just to be sure it wasn’t implantation bleeding, but it didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know: I wasn’t pregnant.

While I was quite sad, I was also somewhat reassured that all of my plumbing is still functioning properly – or seems like it is anyhow. I was also harshly reminded exactly how light your flow becomes after extended birth control use. I will certainly miss that…hopefully I won’t have this reminder too often.

And so it is back to peeing on the damn daily sticks again, waiting for a smiley face to appear. Maybe I’ll draw some horns on the detector, so that at least it will be a devilish smiley – with curiosity and intrigue – and not any boring smiley, like all of the others.


4 thoughts on “Why Does Everything Involve Peeing on a Stick?

  1. Hi Beru I have already stalked your second blog I’m sad I know! Don’t stress too much about falling pregnant and the peeing on the stick thing. If you are going to pee on sticks really just do it for a few months and see exactly when in your cycle you ovulate (for something like 95% of women its the same day every month), then for the 5 days prior to that go crazy in the sack ๐Ÿ™‚

    I wouldn’t worry about any of the factors you mentioned none of them will pose too much of an obstacle though I think in the US you are automatically offered additional tests when you hit 35 as you are classified as “higher risk”, this is also the case in Australia ๐Ÿ™‚

    You may suprise yourself and fall pregnant quite quickly and this can be a pregnancy blog – then you’ll really read some crazy hormonal pregnant women posts (seriously the what to expect when your expecting forums are hilarious bring out the popcorn type affairs with all those pregnancy hormones floating around!) and then you have your baby and get all the millions of different how to raise your child posts because apparently kids are like robots and all should be exactly the same ๐Ÿ˜›

    In anycase I really wish you well with your endevours and hope it works out quickly and well for you. I was lucky the first time and fell pregnant techincally the month before we were going to officially start trying. Second time round it took 4 cycles which isn’t long in the scheme of things but I do remember how dissapointed I got each time I got the negative pregnancy result (I was testing each month because I was still breastfeeding which makes your period and ovulation really out of wack). Apparently the average time it takes for most couples to fall pregnant is 6 months so just keep “making love” and I’m sure it will happen in no time!

    Lath/Philippa xoxoxoxoxo

  2. Hey there, after not seeing any posts on your other blog i was just worried about you guys, and not knowing who you were directing this blog to, decided to ‘trespass’ over here as well – i hope you don’t mind.

    It’s great that you want to start a new family, i wish you all the best.
    For what its worth, I can tell you about our own personal experiences in our attempts to bring new life into this world:
    -Neither me nor my wife were overweight or had any health issues when we started.
    -My wife was about 32 then, and she had been using the pill on and off before that
    -It took us well over a year to get pregnant. This was all natural, without any doctors tests, sticks, scans and whatnot.
    -The turning-point for us to start doing some tests, get some help and see what shape (medically speaking) we were in arrived after a year or so of trying.
    -When we went to the doctor for test, the very first thing he did was to send us away on a nice faraway Holiday.
    The biggest ‘oomph’ in our attempts to get pregnant was our doctor ordering us to let ourselves be free of worry (he stressed that), along with his other advice “stop trying, just let it happen”.

    We did as he told us, went on a nice holiday where we forgot all about kids and getting pregnant, and discovered that there is more in life than just trying to get pregnant.

    We decided to start doing some serious tests after we got back. It turned out that we conceived in (or near) that holiday, so the good doctors advice paid off.
    Afterwards the doctor told us that negative feelings like fear of not being able to get pregnant, stress of feeling forced to have sex in order to get pregnant, and the expectation but letdown of not getting pregnant where the most common causes of infertility. In other words, the mind plays as big a role in all this as does the body.

    I’m ending this wall of text about this very personal subject with a little piece of advice: if you don’t feel like making love, you probably shouldn’t.

  3. I saw this last year and thought that you might be interested in this article after reading your first post. http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-57437017-10391704/diet-during-pregnancy-is-safe-and-reduces-risk-for-complications-study-finds/

    A couple of my friends who got pregnant gained upwards of 60 lb each, and had a lot of trouble losing it afterwards, but neither nursed for long. One not at all, and another only for two weeks until they found that she had a blood clotting disorder and had to go on Heparin. I gained less than 25 lb due to diet (All sorts of studies show babies prefer what their mother ate while pregnant and nursing so I tried to eat REALLY healthy.) and Hyperemesis gravidarum, and the weight was all off in 3 weeks PP by nursing alone! (AND I was eating like a horse for the first time in 9 months ๐Ÿ™‚ )

    Each month that you get a negative will be more disappointing than the last, more frustrating and stress you out even more. When we finally decided it might not happen, guess what?! HAHA ๐Ÿ™‚ So, as the previous poster said, find out when you ovulate, don’t stress about it too much and just let it happen.

  4. Hello beru,

    I have read your website on and off many times over the past year or so and i decided to check out your new blog. The wife and I are also attemting to conceive and have been trying for a little over a year now. Unfortunatly my wife has PCOS so it is really making things difficult in the baby making department. While im sure you have already gotten tons of advice on the subject, the one thing i would advise is to be patient and not to get disappointed when you don’t see the sign your looking for on the pregnancy tests. We have moved on from just taking pills to having the IUI procedure done. We have just completed our 5th attempt at that and may be looking at moving on to in vitro. Good luck!!!

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